


It's Not His Fault

by sunshine_disaster



Series: Life and Death [2]
Category: Julie and The Phantoms (TV)
Genre: Implied/Referenced Sexual Assault, Luke has depression, Self-Harm
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-11-10
Updated: 2020-11-10
Packaged: 2021-03-09 01:14:12
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,235
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27496267
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/sunshine_disaster/pseuds/sunshine_disaster
Summary: Luke is depressed, his two boyfriend’s find him sobbing and bloody in the garage, all they can do is listen.
Relationships: Alex/Luke Patterson/Reggie (Julie and The Phantoms)
Series: Life and Death [2]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/2008705
Comments: 2
Kudos: 67





	It's Not His Fault

Luke couldn’t help but stare down at the blade in his hand, He was sitting in the garage bathroom leaning against the bathtub. It had only been a few days since the last time he cut, so some of the cuts were still barely healed.   
There were a million thoughts running through his head, a million reasons he should drag the blade across his skin, and a million reasons why he shouldn’t.   
He thought back to Reggie and how he couldn’t protect him from his own parents, and that earned two cuts on his right thigh. He thought to Alex and how he was still sleeping in the garage some nights and that earned three more.   
He thought back to the things she did to him. The disgusting things they let her do to him. He knew his parents weren’t to blame, they didn’t even know, but he wanted to blame someone. He needed to because if he didn’t then he felt like it was his fault. His fault that she hurt him. He trusted her, and he didn’t even realize it was wrong until he was 15 and read a book about sexual assault. He never realized that the sick feeling he got in his stomach when he remembered wasn’t normal. He cut into his thighs five more times without thinking.   
He wasn’t bleeding intensely, so he just focused on the pain of it, feeling something other than the pain in his head, the sickness in his stomach.   
He never told anyone about her, his parents found out, and he guessed that was why she stopped coming to watch him when they went out. Instead, he would go over to one of his friend’s houses. He never understood why they were so angry and yelled so much when they came home that night, not until he was 15 and finally asked.  
He dropped the blade and covered his ears, trying to stop himself from remembering. He could feel himself begin to sob, curling in on himself. He didn’t hear the garage door open, nor did he hear Alex or Reggie calling his name.   
“Luke? Honey?” Alex called, they knew he was somewhere in the garage, he had nowhere else to go and he hadn’t shown up to lunch like they’d planned earlier that week.   
Reggie looked at Alex in worry, “I hear crying from the bathroom.”  
Alex glanced at him, worry taking over his face as well as they both made their way to the garage bathroom. Reggie was the first to process the scene in front of them, Luke had his eyes closed tightly with his hands over his ears and was sobbing. His legs were gashed and bloody, but they were pulled tightly against his chest.   
“Luke?” Reggie asked quietly, kneeling down in front of him, Alex was right behind him, “Luke? Sweetie?” he lightly touched Luke’s knee, trying to avoid scaring him.   
Luke jumped, his eyes snapping open, “Reg? Alex?” he asked after a moment, staring at them both with wide eyes, “Wha… what are you doing here?”   
“We were worried… You didn’t show up to lunch…” Alex responded, he leaned forward a bit, pulling Luke’s hands away from his face.  
Reggie nodded, “Luke, what happened? We thought you were doing okay.”   
Luke started crying harder, not able to properly form words, he just kept muttering “I’m sorry” over and over again.  
“Hey hey hey, you’re okay. We just want to know what happened. How we can help you.” Reggie put his hand over Alex’s, “We want to help you.”  
“Just take some deep breaths, okay? Here, follow what I do,” Alex demonstrated the breathing.  
Luke tried to follow, taking a few shaky breaths before finally calming down enough to take more proper deep breaths. He looked back and forth between Alex and Reggie.   
“I’m sorry,” he said again, though he was still crying, he had calmed down enough to talk.   
“Honey, we don’t want you to apologize, we just want to know what’s going on. Come on,” Alex put the toilet seat down, “sit here so I can make sure your legs are okay.”  
Reggie helped him to his feet as Alex got up and found the first aid stuff under the sink. Luke got up shakily, sitting down on the toilet seat. Reggie sat on the ledge of the bathtub, holding Luke’s hand in his own.   
Alex kneeled on the floor beside him, “this is gonna sting,” he warned before pouring a bit of rubbing alcohol on his legs.   
Luke winced, “oww! Alex!” he looked at him, “that hurts.”  
Alex shrugged, giving him a look of sympathy, “I’m sorry, I warned you.”  
Luke glared at him but knew that he was helping.   
Reggie rubbed circles on the back of Luke’s hand, wiping away a tear from his face, “Focus on me, okay? Not on him.”   
Luke nodded shakily, gripping Reggie’s hand tightly.   
“I’m sorry… It just hurts so bad all the time. All the memories, they’re engraved into my mind and I can’t forget no matter how hard I try. No matter how much I pretend, how much I wish or I pray, I can’t forget.”  
“Forget what, baby?” Alex was focused on making sure the cuts were bandaged, so Reggie had been the one to respond.   
Luke took a few shaky breaths, trying to find his words, “When I was little… there was this girl who’d come over to watch me when my parents wanted a night out. Which was a lot? And uh…” he started crying again.  
“Hey, it’s okay, take your time.” Alex helped him to his feet again, “Let’s go sit down on the couch.”  
Luke nodded, taking some more deep breaths as he tried to figure out what to say next.   
The couch was still down in a bed, so the three of them just sat on the bed. Luke leaned his head on Alex’s shoulder, “the girl uh… she did stuff? I didn’t understand, I was young and barely knew what sex was,” he shook his head, scrunching up his face as if he was in pain, “no one stopped her… it went on for a year before my parents realized. It… It hurts. And I can’t forget. No matter how hard I try. I just want to forget.”   
Luke didn’t realize how tightly he was gripping Alex and Reggie’s hands until he saw Alex wince in pain, “sorry…” he mumbled, letting go of their hands.   
“I’m so sorry that that happened to you, fuck… I wish I could take your pain away and make everything all better…”   
“I agree with Alex…” Reggie mumbled, “All I want is for you to be happy, seeing you like this… It hurts. And I pray to God every night that you both, you and Alex, wake up safe in the morning and that includes safe from yourselves.”   
Luke sniffled, “I love you guys… I love you, thank you.”   
Alex smiled lightly, leaning over and kissing his cheek, “I’m always here. Just a phone call away.”   
“Me too, and I make a mean hot chocolate.”   
Luke laughed shakily, “I’m never letting you two go.”   
He threw his arms around them, pulling them closer as they wrapped their arms around him.   
They spent the rest of the afternoon together, Luke fell asleep with his head on Alex’s chest and Reggie was right next to him, holding him tightly.

**Author's Note:**

> Thank you for reading! Please leave a comment and visit me over at my tumblr @ useful-wasting-of-ink


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